Admitting Failure

Today I am admitting two counts of failure. 

The first – a reading failure – I never fail at reading a book.  In fact, I rarely ever fail at anything, I’m pretty much a non-failure.  I also never fail at tooting my own horn 🙂 A trained horn tooting professional.  Today it’s official though, I have failed.

I’m a pretty big reader.  For awhile I stopped reading as much, but I’m back in the full swing of it.  I’m popping out successful books faster than the Octamom popped out her spawn.  In order to keep the book completion going, I have a running list of To-Read books.  For a long time The Handmaid’s Tale was on this list.  It was a book that caught my fancy a few months ago.  The storyline sounded interesting, and it was on a bunch of Must Read lists.  So one day I happened to check on my PaperBackSwap account to see if someone had it listed – someone did!  I waited patiently for it to arrive and was beyond excited when I finally held it in my hands.  At lot of excitement for a book. 

My excitement quickly dwindled as I attempted to read the sucker.  Guys, it sucked.  Like, really sucked.  Sucked so badly that by day two and 40 pages in I was struggling to not throw it away.  I just couldn’t get into the story, characters, or the writing style. 

Now, I have always prided myself on my ability to not “enjoy” anything too much until it’s over.  I keep a rather level, unbiased mind when dealing with new books and movies.  This allows me to take it as it is and decide later if I enjoyed it or not.  This is how I have gotten through some monster books.  It means that on my Goodreads account I have some books I heavily disliked (Catch22) with 3 stars, as well as books I liked (The Hunger Games) also with 3 stars.  Doesn’t make much sense that I would rate books the same when in fact my feelings about them are completely opposite.  My book rating scale is very complex, too complex to really explain.  It’s rare for me to give a book a 1 star.  Actually, I have given two books a 1 star – Wuthering Heights and All Quiet on the Western Front.  I have no idea why.  I just hated both of those to the extent that I felt I needed to take my frustration out on them.  Yet I still finished both of those novels.  Anyways, maybe you see my point – I consider books I didn’t like to still be worth reading and judging.  I’m not a person that says “Put it down if you aren’t enjoying it”, because there is always a chance that something will change your mind later in the story, even the last page. 

Well, when I checked out a new book from the library last week (Shiver) I ignored the other book sitting on my nightstand.  Then, when I finished  Shiver and was at a point where I could pick up The Handmaid’s Tale again, I picked up a different book instead.  That settled my decision.  I wouldn’t be finishing that book.  I finalized it by entering it on my PBS account.  I would leave it up to fate.  If the book was never requested by someone else, it would stay in my posession and potentially end up back in my hands one day.   I just received a request for it.  So out of the door it will go tomorrow, and I can admit failure on this. 

My second failure of the day…  This is one that is not completely my fault.  I almost was going to never mention it to my blog readers.  You deserve to know the truth though, I can’t hide behind a velvet curtain anymore.  My first post on here was about getting rid of our cable.  I mentioned in that post that Cox said it could take a few days for our cable to be completely shut off… Well, here we are a month later, and we still have cable – we’re just not paying for it now.  Who knows how this slipped through the cracks.  I guess Cox could have decided that maybe it just wasn’t worth the trip out to make our 23 channels unaccessible.  Maybe there was a fluke, and we are just meant to have television after all.  Whatever the reason, we still have the dreaded cable. 

So I’m admitting that I have failed to live in a TV free world.  I admit this, but I also want you to know that I am not the one that watches it for the most part.   I have turned it on, only to watch one or two things a week.  Otherwise I do other things, which was my goal.  The husband isn’t doing too well, I still hear the Simpsons while I’m upstairs reading.  It is what it is though. 

What can I say, I tried.


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