I absolutely hate(d) flying.
The funny thing is, I wasn’t always been like this. When my family first moved to the States, I was flying back to Canada many times a year, by myself, NO problem. I loved it. In fact, there were times I was calming other passengers during turbulence. Because everyone wants an innocent fifteen year old to console them for being baby-ish adults,right?
Soon enough though, I was turning into a big pile of adult baby goo. The last three or so years, I’ve been a flying mess. Just the thought of getting on a plane made me nauseous. The thought of turbulence on a plane? * faints *
That sealed the deal. I altogether stopped flying. Which meant NO vacations. A few small trips here and there (within driving distance) but no long, take time off work vacations.
You can imagine my balled up mess of constant stress and anxiety was about the burst with having no R&R!
I was determined to get over the fear for this trip. I wanted to be able to get on a plane without the cold sweats, and heart tremors. I wanted to be able to travel again. There is only so many times you can go to Vegas, after all…or on second thought – that’s not true, Vegas is always fun.
That has been the worst part of this whole thing – thinking that if I didn’t get over it, I would never be able to go anywhere cool ever again. Never take Hubby to see my Home, or Europe. I would never see the pyramids of Egypt * gasp *
Our plan of attack was liquor and sleeping pills.
But when the day came, I was pumped – I was going to show that plane who was boss – (ME). In the end, all those preparations were unnecessary. I didn’t need a single piece of help other than my own mental calming brain waves.
Sure, I had a few moments of “Jaye, just breathe, just breathe” thoughts during take off and bumpy air. But I got through it.
Like a BIG girl!
No freak outs at all. I squeezed my eyes shut when we were in the midst of clouds (they don’t exist if I can’t see ’em), and held Hubby’s hand if I wanted him to know I was scared – I’m all about joint experiencing. They were minor things though, and truly nothing as bad as before.
The past few years we’ve made zero travel plans, besides this trip we just took. Now that I’m feeling back to my normal old flying self, we’re working on planning our next two big vacations, and I’m not scared at all!
So, do I love flying again? No
But am I over the ridiculous fear? I think so. That is, as long as I stay away from those double deckers. Now THAT makes no logical sense to me, how the heck do those things stay in the air?