Commitment Fail

I’m bad at commitments.   At least I admit it.

It’s not so much that I’m bad at keeping promises to people, and committing when I say I will (hey, I am happily married after all)…it’s more that, I have a problem sticking to things I start – on a personal level.

Let’s start with something really simple.

Yesterday, I promised myself I wouldn’t eat dairy at all, for one day.  I would see if things felt better in the GI department, and if they did, I would consider this vegan thing for a little bit.   I came home from work, and made dinner, with cheese.  Then today, I ate potato pancakes at lunch (hello eggs!).  Tomorrow is another day though.

Then there was that time I told myself I would have our master bathroom decorated last spring.  Or the laundry room organized in April.  I even planned on getting our extra three bedrooms done before the end of the year…or at least painted.   For updates on those, don’t hold your breath, they’re about as likely as me giving up cheese for more than 24 hours.

Something like 3-4 months ago I started painting our banister…it’s still in the primer stage.

Then, after a few months of no luck getting anywhere on that project, in a fit of fury I decided that I HAD to repaint our living/kitchen.  And today, we only have one successful wall completed, and this…

Every night I tell myself, “I’m going to get in 4 hours of studying tonight” and instead, I watch three episodes of The Secret Life of the American Teenager.  Don’t worry, I still study, but it’s not usually 4 hours, and I’m usually not in bed by 9PM when I should be.

Don’t even get me started on my running.  But that one is NOT my fault.  I was going every day, and then I developed super painful knees.  So now I’m forced to only run every other day, and only doing intervals at that…My knees still ache, even when I’m sitting in a nice comfy chair typing.  Stupid knees.    It’s not my fault that I grew up running with a heel-toe style.  No one ever told me your heel isn’t supposed to hit the ground, let alone first.  I’ve probably permanently scarred my knees.  They hate me.

Speaking of exercising, I joined a gym once.  Signed up for the annual contract.  I went consistently for about two months.  Maybe once or twice after that for the rest of the year.

I really get down about myself when I think about all of this.   I’m NOT bad at committing!  Right? Just because I try to do ten things at once, or can’t live with myself if I don’t start something immediately…that doesn’t make me a failure.

At least there are commitments I am good at.

Like, being married, using my reusable grocery bags (even at non-grocery stores),blogging on a semi-consistent basis, brushing my teeth at least twice a day…you know, the things that really matter.  😉

What’s the point of this post, you ask?  Well, these days I’m learning some really valuable life lessons.  We’re always told that it’s quality not quantity that matters.  Well, it seems that somewhere along the road, I forgot about that.  My problem is, I tried to do everything, take on as much as possible, and felt defeated when I couldn’t do it all.  But, life isn’t about how much you do, it’s about the things you do accomplish.    So, today, I’m reminding myself that even though I haven’t accomplished as much as I’ve wanted to – at least the things I have accomplished have been done in style.  The rest of it, that’s the rest of my story, and I have a lifetime to finish it.

I’m going to stop stressing so much about what’s not finished.   Maybe, just maybe, if I stop thinking about the 10 things that I haven’t finished…maybe then I’ll be able to actually check a few things off my ever growing of to-dos.

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8 thoughts on “Commitment Fail

  1. OK, first of all: “It’s not my fault that I grew up running with a heel-toe style. No one ever told me your heel isn’t supposed to hit the ground, let alone first.”

    Um, what? How the hell are you supposed to run, then? No, seriously, I’m trying to picture how else your feet are supposed to make contact with the ground. My trainer was always on me to roll through the heel to your toes, and said that as long as you’re not slamming your feet on the ground, you’re in good shape. Not so?

    Secondly, you have to quit beating yourself up, Crazy. I find myself starting projects that go one of two ways a) I want to finish every single part of it RIGHT NOW; or b) I get all “meh” about it very quickly. You are someone who has accomplished so much so young! You have your degree, a wonderful husband, a beautiful (if a work-in-progress) home that you OWN, a career which you are furthering, you’re a friend to the earth, you’re well-read and can construct a sentence, you actually feel guilty about not being able to run every day and you COOK. A lot.

    Stop beating yourself up, and instead pat yourself on the back. You freaking deserve it. And a nap, you deserve a nap, too. 🙂

    • Thanks Christie! 😉
      Apparently you’re supposed to run landing closer to the middle of your foot and following through to push off with your toes. So your heel can touch, but from what it sounds like, only a little bit. That’s not supposed to be your primary landing zone – which with my running, it has been.

  2. Boo… I really like your friend, Lettuce…. she’s got a good head on those shoulders and a wonderful glass-half-full attitude. Listen to her (cause gosh knows… you don’t listen to your mother!)!!!!!! *smile* She’s right; stand back and take a look at all you do and have done. Remember, it’s not a sin to ask for some help (where do you get that from?!) on those things that just don’t matter (like painting) and that some jobs are only worth 80%. Oh, and lastly, a nap helps EVERYTHING!

    • 🙂 I’m getting it, I’m getting it! Which is why I said in my post that I’m not going to stress out so much – or at least try not to. Knowing me, that’s hard to do!
      I already feel a lot better, thank you!
      Oh and yes, Christie is fantastic!

  3. ok–I am so learning about this whole running technique thing–and even after your explanation to that rabbit food chica, I’m sitting here–in my sedentary way–trying to imagine the right way to do it…
    anywho, I think you’re quite awesomesauce and all that jazz 🙂 and if you feel like starting a hard on yourself club–I am so the charter member–notsomuch the treasurer though…

  4. Shelly, I nominate you as entertainment director. You’re in charge of the “games”. We can have flogging Jaye with a wet noodle, Jaye-tossing at a giant sticky fly strip, Guess the number of freckles on Jaye’s face, taping her to a tree with duct tape (just for the heck of it)….. you got the picture! But she has to bake the fantabulous cupcakes for each meeting before the entertainment starts!

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