Warning ** This is long!
A while back I had my appointment with the Perinatologist to discuss my Gestational Diabetes.
To say that appointment was a complete disappointment would be an understatement.
I hated the Peri.
He didn’t say anything bad about ME and MY pregnancy or MY baby. But this guy had what I can only imagine to be some of the worst bedside manner I have ever seen. I was alone during the consult as the Hubs had to get to an exam. I was a lone pregnant lady, meeting a new doctor, who did not wear a lab coat, met with me in his office (no exam room) that was cluttered with paper EVERYWHERE, and had extremely dry and gross hands. All of those things made me very uncomfortable, and just made me feel like I didn’t like this guy.
Then he gave me a long drawn out explanation of what GD is, giving HUGE emphasis to things like BIG BABY, SHOULDER DYSTOCIA, INFANT STILLBIRTH.
Okay folks, let me be honest with you. I’m not one of those people that thinks sugar coating is a required part of giving bad news. I am the queen of giving sugarcoatless opinions, maybe that’s why I tend to thoroughly enjoy old fashioned non-coated donuts. I have one exception to this rule.
If I’m pregnant, alone, and high risk. Please, please, please, sugar coat the heck out of whatever you are telling me. By all means, tell me the truth, but don’t make me feel that I’m killing my baby. Which this doctor’s tone, verbage and lack of eye contact was definitely portraying. I have enough guilt without having a doctor tell me that my baby might die.
So, I left that office feeling quite dejected. (I was also notified that I would be coming back to this office every four weeks for level II ultrasounds to monitor the baby…)
I kept telling myself that I would talk things over with my regular doctor on Friday when I met with him. Not only did I have about a million questions for him, but what I really wanted was for my caring, nurturing OB to look me in the eye and tell me I was normal, safe, and that my baby would be just fine. I needed to be reminded that my diagnosis was not the end of the world.
I love my doctor.
Later that week we spent a good amount of time talking about my GD with my regular OB, from a completely different point of view. He was supportive, and positive. He addressed the risks, but made it very clear that the risks are not associated with controlled GD, and obviously we were well on our way to keeping it in line. I was able to ask him how this would affect my birth plan, and what to expect upon going into labour. (The Hubs’ favourite thing was that my OB doesn’t say I have GESTATIONAL DIABETES. Instead, I am merely glucose intolerant) Thankfully, he has high hopes of me still being able to continue on with the natural birthing plans. There is a good likely hood I will be induced by my due date if we decide it’s best for me and BGF, but we will do everything possible to make this experience as natural as we can.
It was wonderful. I felt so happy that I had a provider that could make me feel human again. It didn’t hurt that he told me I could cancel the monthly growth scans with that office since I would be having weekly Biophysical Profiles + monthly growth scans with the regular office.
The first moral of my story is to LOVE your baby doctor (or midwife) and if you don’t – find one you DO feel comfortable with, one you trust your life (and your baby’s life) with and most importantly, one that will work with you.
Right before my diagnosis I was on my way to switching to a home birth midwife to get the birthing experience I wanted. I still really liked my OB, but just wanted something more out of my birthing. This was the number 1 reason why my diagnosis resulted in the angry post. I thought I was going to have to give everything up, that my birthing day would be an atrocious mess. But I didn’t give my OB enough credit in that post, actually, I gave him no credit. Since that horrible mess of a disappointment I spoke of above, I’ve met with my regular OB three times (I’m now on weekly’s) and every week I get re-confirmation that I am still a normal woman, baking a perfectly healthy baby. I am most definitely not harming my baby, or making my baby so big that she won’t fit out of my pelvis.
Of course, things might not go as planned. I’m okay with that. I’m okay because I know I’m in good hands. I know I have a fabulous birthing team.
So maybe I won’t get exactly the experience I planned, and wanted…but I have learned something vitally important.
Not only did I not give my OB any positive credit in my angry post, but I also didn’t give myself any.
The second moral of my story is, a plan is just that, a plan. Things rarely go exactly the way we wish. Sometimes we have to face disappointment, fear, dejection and the unknown.
But we are all strong and more capable than we give ourselves credit for.
I am almost 32 weeks pregnant, and even though this whole glucose intolerance thing has been a disappointment, I’ve definitely got my Momma groove back and I can’t wait for my birthing day to get here!