Right now I’m savouring it.
That moment, right before you know your child will take their first crawling “steps.” The moment when they rise on all fours, pause for a moment, and then lunge back and forth until the movement lands them right back where they started, on their belly.
The first time we saw this moment, I thought “Shit” (yes Mum, still working on it).
I thought “This is it.”
I thought “No…no…please slow down, Baby Girl.”
And luckily, the fates gave me that last wish.
So for the last week we’ve been caught in this moment.
It’s not that I don’t want her to crawl. I’m not holding her back, I promise (unless you count telling The Hubs to “shove her down” if she looks like she’ll really crawl before I get home from work. I mean shove…in a gentle way?)
It’s just that this time goes by so fast. Everyone tells you that. And you never believe it. You think that pregnancy lasts eons while you’re enduring it. Which means the newborn/infant stages will also last eons. But they don’t. I look back at pregnancy now and it’s a blur. I almost think it didn’t even really happen. Someone just dropped this beautiful child off on my doorstep one June afternoon, right? And now, I hardly remember what it was like to have a newborn. A wrinkly, pink, sleepy newborn. Did that little girl ever really exist? I know I have the proof in pictures…but it all seems like it happened so quickly. Too quickly for my liking.
I want it all to slow down, even though I know the inevitable. I want one more week, one more day, one more minute. Just to savour this little human. Just to freeze her in my mind.
But I know she isn’t going by my schedule.
Crawling is like the next big thing. It means she’s officially mobile. It means baby proofing (which we keep holding off on). Stair gates, socket plugs and zip ties. But really, above everything else, it means that before I know it, my baby will be replaced with a toddler.
And I am not ready to accept that.
So now we are stuck. Stuck in that moment before the crawl.
And I know we can’t hold it off forever.