Many eons ago, I envisioned myself being a mom. But back then, I had no idea what it would feel like to look at my child, my daughter, my life force and watch her grown.
I look at this little person today, and she’s a real person. She has likes and dislikes (namely, The Lorax and leaving the park) She has little quirks, like her messy hair that is just always all over the place, and her need to express hugs to everything she sees. Bus? Hug (and when I say Hug, I mean she opens her arms and says Hug) Kitty? Hug. Car? Hug. Park? Hug. But when I ask for a hug I need to pout to get one.
She laughs at things now. Like for real laughing. She thinks things are funny, and it tears me up inside that she’s old enough to actually understand what makes something funny. My heart practically jumped out of my body when I heard that for the first time.
I want to pinch her cheeks and smother her in kisses.all.the.time. Her smile, her pronunciation of “mElmo”, her bright eyes and the bounce in her step – all make me want to freeze time, relive it, replay it, over and over and over and over again.
My girl, she’s such a girl and loves picking out her clothes, painting her nails, have her hair blow dried, wearing pretty dresses and twirling.
Watching her become her own person makes me think that loving this child is not nearly enough.
If you know me, you know how passionately I feel about things – Game of Thrones, coffee, books, the rain. I love those things.
Well I more than love this little child…
Part of me wishes that I would have had some level of understanding of what this all would be like. But then I realize that this whole thing, this whole watching life grow thing, being a parent thing, loving someone more than life itself thing, is life’s biggest surprise. And it’s a wonderful surprise.